Early in my career, I ran into a friend who I hadn't seen in a while at a conference. As he approached me, I stretched out my arm to shake his hand. He ignored my professional gesture and clasped me in a big bear hug. (Slightly awkward.)
I tried to pull away, but he grabbed my shoulders and drew me so close that our noses touched. (Doubly awkward.) I attempted to pull back my head, but he kept me close. With his hands on my shoulders and our noses touching, my supposed friend asked, "Does this make you feel uncomfortable?" I, of course, sarcastically replied, "Uh, yeah, a little bit." And I kept unsuccessfully straining to regain my personal space.
When he finally let me go, I said, "What the heck was that about?!" He smiled and said, "Mike, sometimes life is a little uncomfortable-kind of like what you just experienced. Who's asking you the tough questions that make you squirm? The questions that help you make the right choices and hold you accountable? The questions that no one else will ask you about how you are doing at home, with your family as well as work? What's the name of your coach or mentor?"
I shook my head and said, "Nobody." He said, "Mike, most people are pretty comfortable. But when humans are comfortable, they don't change. It's when they're uncomfortable that they seek change in their lives." He then told me that I had a week to find someone who would ask me the tough questions. Someone to coach me . Someone to mentor me. Someone to help me become the best person that I could be, at home and at work.
I took his advice...and so should you.
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